H - Hope
There was a very dark time in my life where I had lost hope. Not in the sense of hopelessness but I just could not see how things were going to be like they were before the darkness. I knew in my heart and soul that my faith would not be shaken, and it wasn't, but I let God know that He would have to restore hope in me because I simply didn't believe in it. I decided to take the word hope out of my lexicon and refused to say the word for over a year. Don't you love when you tell God how things are gonna go?
The beauty of a loving Father is that He allows us to make our own decisions - good and bad ones. I can't really remember the details of how hope was restored but I know that the decision to not let it shake my foundation was key. I never could've made it through that dark time without my faith in God and I wanted my children to see that it is our faith that gets us through the hard times. So I didn't stop praying and I didn't stop spending time in His Word. Those two things are what kept me going.
Like I said, I can't remember the details of it all, I just remember one day talking to my son and saying, "Don't lose hope," and the word was back in my vocabulary. I thought about it and realized I did have hope again and hope was for him. My son losing hope broke my heart, I had been there and didn't want him to go down that road.
Hebrews 11:1 says, "Now faith is the substance of things hoped for, the evidence of things not seen." My faith was my substance and only God could see what was ahead. He had walked me through it so that I could be there for my son when he felt he had lost hope.
When Babe was diagnosed with his cancers a new friend of ours, whose husband had been through it said, "Keep the faith. You'll make it through." Wise words from someone who had been there. My mom likes to say, "I'm coming back from where you're going." It's our faith, that sure foundation, that gives us hope for the evidence that is already there, for what we cannot yet see.
The lesson: Hold on to your faith, hope is already there.
Pouring hope,
Nen♡
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