M - Mourn

 One definition of mourning is: the act of sorrowing and a period of time during which signs of grief are shown.   Signs of grief can be sadness, depression, crying, and overall despair. We all handle grief differently too. If you have lost a loved one, you may agree that the most difficult time of grief is when the memorial service and the funeral are over, and the people are gone.  That quietness is when the reality that the person being gone hits hard. Having to be alone with the feelings, knowing you will never hear their voice again, their laughter, their wonderfulness - that's always so hard.  The Bible tells us, "Rejoice with those who rejoice, weep with those who weep." Rom 12:15. Mourning with someone doesn't always mean crying with them, it can be as simple as sitting with them.

My young niece was in a car accident with other students, the van swerved to miss an oncoming car and rolled over three times. My niece was asleep with her head against the window; she was the only one hurt and she died at the scene. She was 21. Her absence left a gaping hole in our family. She had a smile that could brighten up any room, a contagious laugh, a great sense of humor and just really fun to be around. She is my brother's youngest child. On the first anniversary of her death our family got together. We are a close bunch and didn't want my brother and his family to be alone that day. It was a fun day, we laughed and told stories of her and reminisced, and we all learned more about her as we shared the memories. This gathering became a yearly thing for us. She has been gone for fifteen years now but she is forever alive in our hearts. It brings tears to my eyes to write this and remember her so fondly. I love that our family gets together to do this and has turned that day into a day of rejoicing over her life. Always keeping her a part of our family. 

Grief to me is like walking on the beach and you feel the water tickle your toes and it makes you smile, other days you walk on that same beach and a wave comes out of nowhere and knocks you on your behind. Memories come like water tickling your toes and other times those memories are heavy and hard like that wave and you're down for days. Any of this can happen years after the loss of the person.

Understanding that there is no right way to mourn is important as it helps us to be there for people who are grieving. Sometimes people say things like, "Isn't it time to move on?" Like the person has a choice not to. I understand that some people truly have a hard time and maybe handle the loss in unhealthy ways, but for those who just cry out of the blue over a memory, those are seriously hard days, so just ask them about the person. Pray for them and pray that the memories bring them peace. 

The Lesson: We are all going through something, just realize they may have been hit by a big wave that day. 

Pouring hope, 
Nen♥