Pouring Hope ♥

There is a story in the Old Testament of the Bible about three young Jewish boys who were taken into captivity by King Nebuchadnezzar of Babylon. If you know the story you may know them as Shadrach, Meshach, and Abed-Nego (for Veggie Tales fans -Shack, Rack and Benny). Not too many people know their real names, for those are their Babylonian names that were given to them when they were taken captive from Judah. Their Jewish, given names are, Hananiah, Mishael, and Azariah. These three young men were among many who were told to bow down to a ginormous statue of the king, anyone who did not obey this decree was to be thrown into a fiery furnace. They refused to do so on grounds that they would not bow to any other God but the One True Living God. The king of course did not like this and commanded they be thrown into a fiery furnace. The three men of God were not afraid and said that God would deliver them and if not to let it be known that they do not serve his gods or worship them. ...

For those of you who have made it this far in the A-Z Challenge (either as a blogger or a reader) Yes! One more letter! Yay! Thank you for being here and reading along. This has been a lot of fun for me, and I have really enjoyed coming up with new topics. I have no idea how I will continue blogging after this, what I'll write about, but I will do something. Let me know if you have any ideas.  Back to the topic for today. Over the weekend we went to a baby shower, it was Babe's first big outing since his treatments began in February. It was so nice to enjoy the day with others, to laugh and have a good time - to feel a sense of normalcy again. Yes! This coming weekend, Lord willing, we are going to a wedding. I love weddings, the celebration of two lives coming together to make a life their own is so beautiful. I am excited that we get to celebrate this young couple with their parents who have become our dear friends. And we will be there with some other friends too, this sound...

  Ok, so it's not a true X word but it's the best I could come up with. 😊 When Babe was going through radiation treatment for his neck cancer, they made a mold of his chest, neck and face. This mold was placed over him as he lay on a table and then was screwed on to that table; it is used it to hold him still in the same exact spot every day. An X was marked on each side of the mold in the neck area where the tumors were. The radiation would hit those spots every single day (M - F) for 37 days.  One of my friends who went through radiation and had that mold made, told me that this whole thing would soon be a blur. It wasn't that long ago and here I am blurry about the details - praise God for that! Babe had an oncology appointment last week; it had been a month since we were there and that day it felt like a regular appointment. Babe looked at me and said, "It seems like a long time ago that we were doing this all the time." Seriously, praise the Lord!!  My dad o...

This month has been an emotional roller coaster. It's been heavy and stressful to watch my husband battle cancer and get through cancer treatments. It's always on my mind and it's a constant prayer for him to get through this. The Lord has truly held me up and I've seen His healing hand on Babe (he's doing great by the way!). A few weeks ago I received a text from my cousin letting me know that her brother had passed away and sadly, tragically took his own life. I was shocked, sad and heartbroken for his family. I cried so much for his wife and children. The thing that hit me so hard was the utter hopelessness he must have felt. To see no way out, none. I can only imagine the pain.  I've heard people who have attempted suicide say that it's not that they want to be dead, they just don't want to live any more. This life has nothing to offer anymore, no joy, nothing sounds good anymore. It's makes sense to me, it's just beyond sad. There's a co...

Have you ever met someone who immediately gives off good vibes? I don't mean the "life of the party" type but the ones who  brighten up a room when they walk in.  These people are usually unforgettable, like a best friend, a favorite aunt or uncle, favorite teacher. They are easy to talk to, are complimentary, kind, and positive. Recently my sister asked me who this person is to me, and I have to say that I have quite a few of these fantastic people in my life. One of the qualities is that they leave others feeling better about themselves. I love the idea that one is remembered for helping those they come in contact with to feel good about who they are, which implies that these good vibes are observing and noticing others. This is not a self-absorbed person. I've told my boys many times that a good friend (and more importantly a good mate) makes you feel good about who you are and they don't try to change you.  I hope that I am remembered this way.   As Ive thou...

The first time Babe went to speech therapy was in the beginning of the worst part of the healing process, about two weeks after all treatments were finished. Babe was not having it that day, he was sick of feeling ill, sick of not being able to eat, swallow, speak, or sleep well. He was asked to do some humming exercises to strengthen his vocal cords but even that was just over the top for him. The speech therapist was so understanding of how he felt. She was a super sweet, very patient, helpful young gal and very good at her job. I instantly liked her.  Babe was so grumpy, but she just rolled with it.  My dad was a doctor and I had a lot of friends who were his patients. Sometimes they would complain about  the gals who worked for my dad and said they had terrible bedside manner. This speech therapist was not like that at all. Just knowing that people feel crummy after cancer treatments and being sensitive to that helps people feel better and understood. She wasn't pushy...

I am super excited to have gotten this far in this A-Z challenge. It's been fun and it has definitely been challenging. The empathy part has been the most difficult, but I have truly enjoyed coming up with a daily topic. I hope you get something out of my T -word as I have drawn from my ministry days from many years ago.  Have you ever tried to help someone who just didn't want to do the work it takes to make some changes? It's true that we can't help someone who doesn't want help. For those people we really do have to just wait until they're ready, it's so hard to watch especially if they are a family member. We are sometimes more understanding with strangers than we are with our own family or friends who are having a hard time.  There can be a fine line between empathy and enabling. It's good to be understanding and helpful but we can help too much, making it easy for the person to stay stuck in their cycle (of alcoholism, drug addiction, or whatever t...

Many years ago, I went through a divorce. It was the toughest decision of my life because I had come from a lot of divorce - 7 total between my parents. I was three when my parents ended their marriage, so I grew up going back and forth to each parent's home, it was all I knew.  Some people believe that divorce comes easy, maybe that is true for some, and I know the laws in certain states have made it very easy, but it took me five years to make that decision. I cried for many years about it, and asked God to forgive me for even thinking about it. The part that hurt so much was knowing, from my own experience, that my boys would forever have this defining timeline in their lives, "That's the year my parents divorced." They will always know exactly how old they were when their parents split. I hated that I was going to put that marker in their lives.  Divorce comes with a tremendous amount of shame, so much it crushes the spirit. I was married for 20 years and prior to...

Easter Sunday or Resurrection Day is a day for me to reflect on what my faith means to me, what Jesus did, has done, and continues to do. Last week I read the four accounts of the death of Christ and His resurrection. Each gospel, Matthew, Mark, Luke, and John have a slightly different description of what took place. I like that there are four views of the same event. Depending on where each eyewitness was standing, each person would have a different testimony, and having all those viewpoints helps put the pieces together. Reading them made me pause and rejoice at knowing there were eyewitnesses to this event (by the way there were way more than just four).  Jesus gave His all for each and every one of us and made sure that it was documented for us today - all of that is definitely cause for rejoicing! On this theme of rejoicing, Babe and I have been watching our grandson this week. He is almost six, on the autism spectrum and PRE-verbal. (A friend of mine whose daughter is al...

I have mentioned before that I am a seamstress, quilter and long arm quilter. For those who are new to these terms, a long arm quilter quilts other people's quilt tops for them. My customers bring their finished quilt top and the back (called backing) and the cotton batting, that goes in the center, for me to stitch together. I love this part of my job, the quilts that I get to work on are amazing, many I wouldn't even attempt to make because they are too tedious for me. It never ceases to amaze how each quilt takes on a life of it's own after it is quilted. It's magical in so many ways.  People are like quilts. Some are simple with bold colors, others are floral and fancy and then there those who are so intricate it takes time to see all the details. The backing of a quilt is important as well, some are lightweight fabrics, others are a cozy flannel and some are a thick soft, minky for extra warmth.  All of these details are what makes the quilt special - just like peo...

I have always loved art. From a very young age I would color, draw, and paint. My mom tells a story about me drawing a small mural on the wall when I was about 4. It was of Cinderella's stagecoach. I don't remember doing it but my mom says she was so upset and didn't know how she was going to get that wall clean. One of her friends saw the masterpiece and was very impressed by my talent. She said, "Oh don't clean it off, frame it!" At the time, my mom could not believe she said that, and years later she thought, "I wish I had at least taken a picture of it." It's all about perspectives. My youngest son used to love to wear red rainboots - everywhere all the time. He wore them so much he wore a hole on the bottom, so we bought him a new pair - bright yellow. He wore them in the heat of summer and even to the beach! I took him and his older brother to have their portraits done; it was a fun portrait place in the mall.  I bought them somewhat matchi...

I haven't said much about Babe in the last few posts so I thought I'd update. "Only God," has been our theme throughout this cancer journey because we knew that Only God would see us through. It's been the hardest thing either one of us has ever been through. I knew, from all the meetings with doctors before treatments began, that he would have some really sucky days and knew that they would be super hard for him. I am thrilled to report that there are less and less sucky days for him! He is able to speak again, eat again and even do a little yard work. He is still zapped of energy easily and food doesn't taste great yet but it's not repulsive anymore - so no more protein shakes! He seriously never wants to drink another one of those again -ever! He isn't losing weight anymore, hasn't gained any either, but not losing is huge! It was a very, very quiet month. I am so happy to have someone to converse with again. All glory to God! My heart has ached...

Have you ever met someone who rarely, if ever, has a positive word to say? No matter what, they just see the negative in everything and walk around like Eeyore with a dark cloud over their head. I call these people, "Fun suckers." They are challenging people for me to be around. I probably drive them crazy being the opposite. The thing is, negativity and positivity are contagious. I know someone who will remain nameless (no, not you!) who could just take a beautiful outing and turn it into a gloomy, awful day.  If ______ ain't happy, ain't nobody happy! Those days would make my head spin! We just wanted to have a nice day but one thing wouldn't go their way and it was over - for everyone. I am not sure how this person has grown up today, but I sure hope that the outlook on life is more sunny these days.  Having compassion and showing kindness are also contagious. That same person used to ask me, "Why are you so nice to me? I am not nice to you." I would ...

  One definition of mourning is: the act of sorrowing and a period of time during which signs of grief are shown.   Signs of grief can be sadness, depression, crying, and overall despair. We all handle grief differently too. If you have lost a loved one, you may agree that the most difficult time of grief is when the memorial service and the funeral are over, and the people are gone.  That quietness is when the reality that the person being gone hits hard. Having to be alone with the feelings, knowing you will never hear their voice again, their laughter, their wonderfulness - that's always so hard.   The Bible tells us, "Rejoice with those who rejoice, weep with those who weep." Rom 12:15. Mourning with someone doesn't always mean crying with them, it can be as simple as sitting with them. My young niece was in a car accident with other students, the van swerved to miss an oncoming car and rolled over three times. My niece was asleep with her head against ...

Listening is an action word that takes being still. Sounds like an oximoron, doesn't it? We have to be still to actively listen.  It's being quiet, stop talking, stop thinking about what you're going to say next, stop texting or reading a text or looking at your phone while someone is talking. How can we truly be listening if we don't stop all the noise in our head?   How can we really know what they're going through  if we aren't taking the time to stop and hear what that person is saying? How can we truly show empathy or sympathy if we are not paying attention? Listening is like a muscle. It takes effort and it takes working on it to strengthen it. It's not an easy thing to do to just listen to someone, especially if that person is boring, or talks so much we can't get a word in. Not listening can be downright rude. Have you ever been on the phone and doing other things and not really listening to the person?  I had a friend when I was a kid that loved...

One definition of a kinsman is: a blood relation or a relation by marriage.  I love the book of Ruth in the Bible. It is only four chapters long, but it's packed with everything a good story needs like sorrow, adventure, direction and even romance. It's the story of mainly Naomi and Ruth. Naomi moved to a distant land with her husband and two sons, Ruth was married to one of the sons and Orpah was married to the other.  Naomi's husband and sons both died making all three women widows. Naomi realized that without children or grandchildren this foreign place was no longer her home. She was sad and bitter and decided to move back to her own people and tells her two daughters in law that she is leaving, and they need to stay in their own land, among their own people, and get married again for they are both young. Orpah is happy to stay but Ruth has learned of Naomi's living God and wants to know more. She tells Naomi that she wants to go with her, she pleads with her, ...

There’s an acronym for JOY that I love: Jesus Others Yourself It's a great way to remind us to show empathy and compassion. Our culture tells us that SELF is first. Self-care, self-love, forgive yourself, be kind to yourself. I am not saying that these things are bad or wrong, I am just saying that it’s a lot of focus on self. And maybe this is what gets in the way of showing that we care about others.   Think about it, every day we get up brush our teeth, wash our face, fix our hair, choose our clothes for the day, look in the mirror make sure we look presentable, feed ourselves, maybe pack a lunch to make sure we have food for later, check our phones, and maybe check social media to see how many “likes” we have on our last post (of a picture of ourselves). That’s a lot of self! All of this self- care is the exact opposite of what Jesus teaches – be self-LESS. There are studies showing that the best way to get out of a funk is to do something for someone else. This...

  Intercessory prayer is standing in the gap and praying for the needs of others, and it involves empathy and compassion. About a month ago Babe and I were at a stop light, we were both looking down at something in our car when we heard the sound of two cars smashing into each other. It was so loud it made us jump. There was a woman in one of the cars who was clearly in shock and was thrashing in her car. Those who are gifted at knowing what to do in an emergency acted quickly and were out of their cars checking on the passengers in each car. I had called 911 but someone else had already done it and responders were already in front of us. It happened so quickly. All Babe and I could do was pray. Knowing how to pray can be challenging so putting ourselves in someone else’s situation helps us to pray for them. When our heart breaks over something that we cannot imagine going through; or seeing someone being mistreated or even seeing an accident - putting ourselves in those scenari...

There was a very dark time in my life where I had lost hope. Not in the sense of hopelessness but I just could not see how things were going to be like they were before the darkness. I knew in my heart and soul that my faith would not be shaken, and it wasn't, but I let God know that He would have to restore hope in me because I simply didn't believe in it.  I decided to take the word hope out of my lexicon and refused to say the word for over a year. Don't you love when you tell God how things are gonna go?  The beauty of a loving Father is that He allows us to make our own decisions - good and bad ones. I can't really remember the details of how hope was restored but I know that the decision to not let it shake my foundation was key. I never could've made it through that dark time without my faith in God and I wanted my children to see that it is our faith that gets us through the hard times. So I didn't stop praying and I didn't stop spending time in His ...

God is merciful and full of grace. If we have been given so much, what right do we have to not give this to someone else? It’s not easy though. There are people who can really rub us the wrong way and that whole forgive and forget thing – good luck! We can forgive but forgetting is nearly impossible because we were hurt, it’s hanging on to the hurt that we don’t want to do. Remembering the one who wronged us is necessary, so we don’t get hurt again but holding on to the hurt only keeps us in bondage to it and can create bitterness. It’s important to forgive, because forgiveness keeps us from growing bitter. Forgiveness is a gift we give the other person who has wronged us, they can do whatever they want with that gift – even toss it in the trash if they want to or set it aside for 20 years. What they do with it is between them and God. Offering forgiveness is between us and God. It takes grace to forgive, and it takes grace to show empathy. Ultimately the person off the hook is us....

I am a seamstress, a quilter and lover of fabric. I mostly quilt so I am typically using cotton fabric but fabric comes in so many types of fibers and textures like cotton, wool, denim, satin, linen, canvas and polyester, and many more. Each fabric is used for different things from quilts to clothing, to bags of all sorts and even for outdoor use. The fabric one chooses will depend on the need. For instance, there are better fabrics to choose from than using linen for an outdoor canopy or making a summer smock out of wool. Humans are like fabric. We come in all colors and textures. Not everyone is good at the same things, like the linen for a dress and canvas for a canopy. God made us all in His image so each one is beautiful and has a special purpose. In the area of empathy, I believe we all handle that differently as well. Some are naturally empathetic and know just what to say at just the right time. Some just sit and listen, say nothing but it’s just what is needed at that time. Ot...

 Going through cancer is definitely an emotional experience, for the patient and the caretaker. The first time you hear the “C” word it stuns, it pierces, it shocks. Babe and I both had the same thoughts around it all. What will happen to my spouse, our children, our home, our life?! The thoughts and feelings whirl inside like an emotional tornado. We sat and listened to the doctor tell us what the next steps would be, took it all in, and we quietly walked to our car, holding hands – holding on to each other really- and drove home. We didn’t talk too much about it until we went to bed and lay there trying to remember everything we heard that day, then we looked at each other, knowing we were both hurting and confused and we cried. We cried and cried until we could cry no more. When we got it all out, we prayed. We asked the Lord for wisdom to make the right decisions, strength and discernment. And we placed it all at our Father’s feet. Let go. Let God.   The next few weeks w...

For you did not receive the spirit of bondage again to fear, but you received the Spirit of adoption by whom we cry out, “Abba, Father.” Rom 8:15 As believers we are adopted into the family of God and we can call out to our Heavenly Father, “Abba”– which means Daddy. I have been a Christian since I was 11 years old; the idea of knowing I had a father who loved me unconditionally is what drew me to Him. When tough times come I call out to my daddy and He is there for me. How does Daddy fit into empathy you ask? Well, Heb 4:14-15 says, “For we do not have a High Priest who cannot sympathize with our weakness, but was in all points tempted as we are, yet without sin. Let us therefore come boldly to the throne of grace, that we may obtain mercy and find grace to help in time of need.”  In other words, He knows exactly what we’re going through. He understands our trials, our pain, our struggles and because of that we can come BOLDY to the throne of grace to find grace in time of need....

Watching someone fight their way through cancer is hard, especially when the caretaker can do nothing but be there when needed. I can’t take the pain away, I can’t make a meal to help him feel better, because he can’t eat anything. I can’t make the awful taste of food go away so that he can enjoy just one meal. It’s so frustrating. I wish I could trade places! Before the cancer treatments began we had many meetings with doctors and nurse practitioners and nurses, all of them sat with us doing their best to prepare us for what was ahead. They knew that all they were really doing was giving us information because nothing really prepares you for it. When we were driving home after one of these meetings, Babe said to me, “I don’t envy your position. It’s going to be so hard for you to watch me and not be able to do anything about it all.” He knew. He knew because he knows how it feels to watch the one you love be in so much pain. He could empathize with me before I even got there. And he...

  Benevolence is more than just acts of kindness, it’s living out one’s faith.   Knowing what one should do and actually doing it are two different things. Christians are commanded to be kind and loving, sadly this isn’t always the case as we are all only human and allow the busyness of life to get in the way. It’s a beautiful thing to see people put their own life aside to be there for someone else, even if it’s just a few minutes out of our day.   Being on the receiving end of such kindness is heartwarming and honestly humbling. Opening our front door to find baskets of love – food, snacks, books, journals, homemade blankets! We have two friends who made us blankets, one for each of us, and one crocheted for Babe to take to chemo (because it’s very cold in that room). The other two blankets are fleece on one side with minky on the other side – so cozy. We have nicknamed these blankets, “super blankets.”   It was a very cold winter so we have enjoyed these super b...

I am a total rookie at blogging, this is my very first entry. I had no idea what I would write about so I had no idea how to begin. A friend of mine told me about the A-Z challenge and I thought it would be a great way to start so here I am.  The A-Z topic is Empathy. I learned that empathy is knowing how others feel because I have been through something similar and sympathy is feeling bad for someone for what they are experiencing. Someone who has never lost a loved one cannot understand what losing someone feels like so they feel bad but don't know how that truly feels. When that person does go through a loss like that, they can now empathize with someone who has lost a loved one. Internal verses external.   Cancer is like this too. I have good friends who have fought cancer and I have prayed and cried with them and even listened to them share their anger at cancer. I have no idea what it's like to be diagnosed with cancer but I can say I have experienced it up close an...